Two people can love each other, but feel like they are in a loveless relationship because they speak a different love language.
That thought reminded me of a couple Scott & I know. They had been married for years. The husband provided well for his wife as his way of showing he loved her. All she wanted was time with him, though. (Quality time was her love language.) So although he felt like he was showing her love by working long hours at work, she wasn’t interpreting his actions as love. She spent years feeling neglected. Unfortunately, their marriage ended in divorce, which devastated the husband.
Well, that’s incentive for me to figure out what language Scott & I speak. During each chapter, I kept thinking, “maybe this is my love language.” It wasn’t until I read about all 5 languages that I could narrow it down to 2: acts of service and words of affirmation. But I couldn’t decide which was my more dominant love language, until I thought about them in reverse. What would devastate me more: not being thanked or not having the dishes done for me? Words. I need to hear kind words and reaffirm that I’m loved and valued. And Scott, his language is quality time.
So even though I have a list of chores to do around my house, I need to put that list on hold and sit down and spend time with my husband so he feels loved. Better yet, Scott needs to help me with my to-do list so I feel loved and can then spend time with him, which will help him feel loved. I like that compromise! (Now that Scott’s done with school, he does do the dishes. I haven’t washed dishes in over a week. Love it!)
So what is your love language?
4 comments:
I need a job so I can get out of doing all these dishes!
We actually just talked about this in my Parent-Baby class. It's fine to feel like you're a mix of a few of them, right? It really helped me understand different people and how they communicate. It's interesting! I can't remember all of them, but acts of service definitely mean a lot to me.
My mom has read this book several times and has even taught a class on it. I want to get the book and read it too...it's very interesting!
April
Definitely one of my top 5 reads. I am an acts of service girl and my hubs is a words of affirmation guy.
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